


Where do we go from here?

by yeahmalec



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: AU Malec, Alec Lightwood Angst, Angst, Break Up, Emotionally Hurt Magnus Bane, Hurt Magnus Bane, M/M, Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood Angst, Malec, Malec AU, Malec Angst, Shadowhunters - Freeform, alec lightwood - Freeform, magnus bane - Freeform, ruelle
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-18
Updated: 2017-09-18
Packaged: 2018-12-31 06:23:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,220
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12126450
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yeahmalec/pseuds/yeahmalec
Summary: Where do they go from here?--Or relationships don't always work out.





	Where do we go from here?

**Author's Note:**

> I'm so sorry for bad updates and typos and lazy glossary and infancy words and just ugh but depression is a bitch and school is a bitch its the first month and im already ready to go and bury myself six feet under so heres some angst alec bc atm its all i can relate to

"I'm going out with the boys."

Magnus halts as Alec's long legs take him over to his leather jacket. He feels annoyed and slightly hurt at the view of Alec putting his jacket on, shuffling his growing hair. Magnus didn't want him to go out with the boys; to go out at all.

"Just don't come home at night. Leave your key and take your phone." Magnus tries to sound as calm as possible when the distinguishing pain starts to evolve his heart.

"What?" It's a chuckle in the thick air, Alec's mouth curving into a smirk. "Wait, you're serious?" He stands by the door, watching Magnus.

Magnus settles down the small cup of cocoa and steps a little closer. "Yes." He whispers. Alec turns to his direction and swears, he's never seen Magnus look this vulnerable. "It's just - you're going so much out with the boys and always come home drunk - smelling awful and not being able to walk. I can smell other people on you and - just find a friend who'll let your crash but don't come here. Please."

"So, what, I can't go out with my friends?"

"Of course you can," Magnus sighs. "But I won't stay here alone with my boyfriend doing -"

"Then why can't I take my key?"

"Because you'll come home drunk!" Magnus rises his voice, an angry expression taking over his face. "And you smell awful and you can't walk and you try to force yourself on me and - and you know the kind of childhood I had." Magnus tries to explain himself.

"C'mon, that was two decades ago. Give it a rest." Alec huffs, shaking his head.

It's an arrow to Magnus' heart. "Ever since you've went out with the boys, you've became such a bastard. Not the Alec I know." Magnus walks closer to Alec, shoving his hand into his pocket and digging the familiar key in his hand - the only key in Alec's pocket. "Go out and stay there."

"You can't be serious?" Alec furrows and Magnus sighs.

"Just go, Alexander." Magnus waves his hand dismissively, settling the key on one of the tables near the couch.

"No. Not until we settle this."

  "It is settled. You go and get yourself drunk? Don't come home. You decide to not get drunk and maybe spend a little time with your boyfriend? Come home."

Alec stands in front of the door, looking at his boyfriend who walks in the bedroom, obviously waiting for Alec to leave. But he speeds after Magnus, grabbing his hand.

Magnus rips his hand away. It's not a safe grip that he's held in, it doesn't feel like home anymore. "Why can't I go and get drunk? It's Friday. I've worked my ass off -"

"You can," Magnus yells, "But do not come here, after barely seeing me for five days, and expect me to take care of your drunk ass and then be a rude motherfucker to me in the morning."

"My drunk ass? How many times have I let you cry on my shoulder, huh, what about that?" Alec spits.

"You didn't have to.  _I_  didn't have a choice."

"You did. You could've kicked me out."

"Well, I didn't because I love you," Magnus screams, throwing his hands in the air, "And if you don't want me to cry on your shoulder then fucking don't let me. But I don't want to be in this relationship -"

"Who ever said I do?" Alec sternly asks. His own heart freezes as well as Magnus'. "Wait -"

"Get out."

"What?"

"Leave." Magnus mutters. " _Get out_ ," he shoves Alec's chest, "You're an asshole. I can't believe I've ripped my own mind in shreds at the thought of you or that I've shared my life and my pain with you. Get out."

Alec catches Magnus' hands, holding in them place when Magnus tries to yank them off. "Baby, listen -" His voice is soothing and soft again.

"No, Alec, just please." He can hear Magnus voice crack. Magnus slides his hands down off Alec's chest, who's going over Magnus hopelessly. "Leave. I can't do this - us, anymore."

"Yes, yes you can and you will." Alec mumbles. "I'll be a better boyfriend. I won't go -"

"This is why you need to leave. You don't understand, you're not made to be in a relationship. You not going out is the last thing I want. All I'm asking is a little more time and effort and love. But it seems to be too much."

Alec shakes his head, "It's not. I swear it isn't, I can give you all that. I promise, just listen - no," Alec protests when Magnus wiggles his way out of Alec's hold, taking a noticeable step backward. ''I'm sorry for saying that, but -''

''Go,'' Magnus says. ''I really don't need this right now. Maybe tomorrow, maybe not. For now, please just go. I don't want to know that the only thing making you stay is breaking up with you.''

''You're breaking up with me?''

''No - I don't know, Alec. I don't know.'' Magnus annoyingly huffs. ''Just go and I'll figure my mind out.''

Alec looks around the room, like it'd be last time he has the chance to. ''I'm sorry.'' He whispers before turning around, hesitating before opening and closing the door. 

\---

It had been five days when Magnus got the first voicemail from Alec. He had gotten numerous text messages - which he had ignored with an ease. But in the middle of the night as he lies in his bed and his phone kept buzzing and beeping and reminding him, he couldn't take it.

He launched to his phone, staring at the bright screen and the name Alexander on it. It makes Magnus feels discombobulated, wondering how it has came to this and wondering why he let it come to this. 

It took Magnus over forty minutes to play the voicemail. And when he finally does, he hopes he never had. 

 _Hi, Magnus_ , Alec's voice was silent and cracked. 

_It's... Four in the morning. Don't know when you're listening to this but I'm sorry. You might thing that ... That I'm drunk or that I'm emotional because I've barely slept but I'm not. I haven't drank since - since, you know. And I'm really, really sorry. My glossary isn't as fancy as yours so I can say there isn't words to describe how sorry I am._

_Isabelle misses you. And I do too and she chastised me for what I've done. I did too. I just - get back to me, please. We can sort this out._

_I love you._

 

The next time Magnus gets a text is at six in the morning. It only says  _I'm sorry._

Magnus goes on with his morning routine except without Alec making small cheeky comments, or grabbing Magnus' waist, pressing a kiss on his cheek. Or without small arguments of who gets up first and welcomes the coldness of detachment. He keeps glancing his phone, feeling how he loses to the thought of grabbing it and texting Alec. But he doesn't want to feel like he did last night. Like someone else's rug. 

Magnus sinks down on his couch, taking his phone with shaking hands and sighs. 

_I'm sorry too._

He puts it down, closing his eyes and sighing and completely lost.

_Where do they go from here?_

**Author's Note:**

> i swear im working on better and longer chapters


End file.
